THE LANGUAGE OF AUTHENTICITY
by Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa
How often do you have a conversation with someone and after it ends you feel tired or drained? Too often? ! Do you ever have conversations where you feel tension building in your abdomen and experience a sense of frustration? These signs, fatigue and frustration, are two signals that your interactions were lacking in Authenticity.
Fatigue is a signal that the ego was engaged. It take effort to sustain an interaction with someone at the level of density consciousness. (Even though your interaction may have been "normal," your experience is a sign that you are needing to engage at a more refined energy level.)
Feeling drained is a signal that you were giving more energy than you were receiving. Sometimes this happens when we have more emotional investment in someone or something than the other party has, so we give disproportionately more to the discussion than the other person. This signal reminds us that we must respect our own need for support or for mutual investment in a situation. It is our duty to communicate authentically, without blame or judgment, what it is that we are needing.
The experience of frustration occurs when someone does not understand us or when they are behaving in a way that is contrary to our needs. Frustration is low-grade anger and the purpose of this emotion is to signal us that a boundary has been crossed. A boundary is a personal energetic standard for interaction or behavior. When another person violates our boundaries, it is time to look at our communication skills. Did we share our standards, our expectations (boundaries) with the other person? If so, then your need for respect has been violated. The frustration is a sign that you must take a stand.
Or does the frustration energy we feel signal us that we forgot to tell the other party about our values and needs? Then it is time to honor our values around honesty and authenticity so that our interpersonal interactions are uplifting, not draining.
These every-day occurrences are learning opportunities. Effective communication skills go a long way toward creating healthy mutually-supportive interactions. Practice talking in the first person with "I" language. Take responsibility for your inner experience. For example: "I notice that we are spending a lot of time discussing your family problems, and I want you to know that I do love you and truly want to help, however, this conversation is draining my energy. Do you think there is another way of looking at this issue that might feel more loving and expansive?" Or, a short version: "I am feeling drained by our conversation. Would you be willing to go for a walk or join me in something more uplifting?"
Taking responsibility for our experience also mean monitoring our inner state. Am I centered in my Star Consciousness? Being centered there is an effective tool for traversing density interactions. (See the book Sacred Union the Journey Home or the home study course Navigating the Inner Matrix for details on the Star practice)
Taking responsibility also mean noticing when it is time to end a conversation or a friendship. Often as we evolve in our journey we effort to stay connected with those who do not choose to evolve. It is important to recognize that your job is to live Authentically – this does not include compromising yourself in an effort not to rock the boat. The feelings of being drained or frustrated can be signals that it is time to move on. Your job is to communicate cleanly that you have less interest in the activity or topic than you once had and keep redirecting the conversation. If that does not work then it is time to honor your truth. For example " I am feeling tired and I am heading home now" or "I no longer enjoy many of the things we used to enjoy together … would you like to join me in doing "X"?
Authenticity is the word that describes conscious recognition of our truth and our willingness to express that truth. Authenticity is always aligned with what many call our "Higher values" or purer Being and thus our sense of Authenticity will refine as we live an ever-more soul guided life.
Growth is always available to us. The journey home is an ever-refining path of peace, love, and joy. Our habits seem to come along for the ride as well….as reminders of the energy we once embraced. Habits dissolve as we anchor in love and release all judgment toward self and others. Habits dissolve as we prioritize new ways of expressing ourselves. Smile at them…they will loosen!
Remember, as you keep your eyes on the Divine, your success is assured.
Much love to you all,
Sri and Kira