Namaste my beloved TOSA family. I am so humbled by the invitation to share my journey with you and I thank each of you for the support and love.
Active spiritual awareness came to me late in life. Apparently I required a significant amount of life lessons before I was able to surrender to divine obedience. I suspect most illusionary control freaks have that issue.
While there have been too many life lessons and missed spiritual opportunities to share in one posting, I would say that there are 4 standout events that altered my perception of life and led me toward my spiritual journey.
My very first memory is as an infant in my crib. Later in life, corroborated by my mother, events were confirmed and acknowledged that this very detailed memory is factual. The event itself is not important. What is important is that as an infant, my higher self was fully engaged and present. I recall in detail everything that went on inside of my “thought” body……the observation from a mature soul level, devoid of emotion or judgement….simple acceptance. To this day when I meet an infant we share the secret that their higher self is fully present and I always whisper acknowledgement and honor to that divine presence. So, I’ve always suspected that the soul is an active and aware presence on its own.
I was raised in the Catholic Church with Latin masses. During mass I’d sit and count the ladies hats for lack of anything better to do. Eventually the masses were in English and I heard the sacred words for the first time. Were they really saying the words “Lord I am not worthy”??? I am worthy….we were all worthy. This was wrong. I knew when I was 10 it was wrong. After an unfortunate confession when I asked the priest why the very rich Catholic Church didn’t give their money to the poor and being told that you can’t sell churches (sorry…but they call that Real Estate sales, Father), I was dismissed from the confessional with the longest penance in history. I never went back to organized religion. The tally system of perfection versus sins didn’t make sense.
I willy-nillied my way through life. Much like the story of Ferdinand standing in the field of flowers, I meandered downs dead end roads and not so great relationships. Still, I’ve always been able to tap into something greater than myself and instinctually knew I’d missed a turn on the road of life. As a child I had intense dreams that 60 years later I recall with vivid clarity. Many have come to fruition through the years and there are some I hope never come to pass.
I always say that when God wants you, he’ll kick you to the basement to get your attention. He’s creative that way and since I must be a hard sell, he sent me not one, but two shockwaves that altered my course forever.
I have 2 grandsons. I call them Heart and Soul. My oldest, who is sweetness in form, stole my heart. My youngest…..he restored my soul.
In 2007 my daughter told me she was expecting her second child. In that nanosecond, my entire being was gripped with fear. Her entire pregnancy filled me with cold dread. I had no idea I was being prepared for future events. On October 17th, 2007 she gave birth. It was an easy delivery and I was so thankful. I was the one to cut the cord and gave the baby his first and only bottle. I noticed his hands and feet were blue and kept rubbing them. He was taken to triage and never came back. Instead a cardiologist came and told us he had a critical congenital heart defect, Ebstein’s Anomaly, and wasn’t expected to survive the day. While the news was horrific, I’d been prepared and for the first time I heard the whispered words …“all will be well”. On his first night of life he crashed and “died” and was resuscitated. The only pediatric cardio thoracic surgeon in Tucson was out of the country and Alex was airlifted to Phoenix Children’s Center where he had his first open heart surgery at less than 24 hours old. As he recovered, his breathing vent was finally removed. He had to breathe on his own for ten days before they would allow him to come home. As he breathed, we held our own breath and prayed for his success.
And on the eighth day off the vent, as I was getting into bed, a set of hands appeared in front of me. As clearly as I see my own hands, the hands of Jesus appeared. They were long and beautiful, illuminated without glow….smooth and mocha in color and full of a loving energy and they held a baby. One hand dropped and the baby started to fall. I cried out into the night….please…no. And I heard the words again……all will be well. I sat up and waited and at about 2 a.m. my son-in-law called me crying. He told me Alex and crashed and “died” again and was back on the vent. I told him what had been told to me…..all would be well and not to worry. Alex is fine. Phoenix Children’s could do no more for him and recommended he receive a heart transplant. He was airlifted to UCLA Medical Center with a note pinned to his chest that read “expected to arrive DOA”.
After months in UCLA, and a few more open heart surgeries (but no transplant) he was finally released. With a feeding tube, methadone addiction and nearly thirty medications he arrived home and the real work began.
Miracles are not huge “ta da” explosions of sparkling light. They are, instead, small synchronistic events. I witnessed the tiny threads of miracles that when woven together created the most extraordinary tapestry of success. That is how the subsequent years went, random and seemingly innocuous events and synchronicities leading to success. Miracles come and go each day and we fail to see them. Alex is now nine years old and all is well.
I learned about faith, miracles and grace from the experience. But as I said, one catastrophic event for some people isn’t enough. When the universe demands your presence…oh my….it finds a way to get you. The year after Alex was born I awakened on my birthday to find a card from my 3rd husband that said, “I love you and I am sorry”. He left America and took the money and our future and returned to his home country never to be seen again.
At nearly sixty, alone, betrayed, in debt and terrified I was forced to face all of my fears. I wasn’t sure I could survive the blow of betrayal. I caused myself to suffer and found my way to the basement of my being. Death seems the preferable option to living. Isn’t it odd how when we are living in a low vibration we only call on the divine when we suffer? What an opportunity that suffering becomes. I cried and prayed for help and that is when Archangel Michael started talking to me. He guided me through a path of acceptance of what it, gratitude for each gift I’d been given however small and forgiveness and healing that resulted in an understanding and appreciation for a soul contract designed with such perfect love as to create an event that catapulted me into a space for spiritual growth. I send my husband so much love for that soul sacrifice. What an extraordinary loving soul he must be to have made that agreement to administer such pain.
Other Archangels started to introduce themselves to me. Jophiel came one Sunday in a cloud of gentle pink energy and Metatron, who stands firmly at my back, blasted me off a chair with his energy when he introduced himself. We now have agreed to dial it down so I can deal with it and Metatron sent Sandelphon to help me.
I discovered Sri and Kira’s You Tube channel at the end of 2015. I had never heard of Ascension energy and twinning earths. All I knew is that the person I’d been even two years before no longer existed and I was becoming something else. I was guided to investigate the profound messages delivered by these two loving souls and, as in all things truth activates a soul recognition. I watched old You Tube videos and found the website and started reading. The monthly You Tube videos resonated so deeply with what I innately knew was true. It was as though someone finally showed me the picture on the box top of the 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. The pieces quickly fell into place as I watched the video’s and read the Insoulment messages and the wow hit…..I am not a broken or strange being and most importantly….I am not alone. In 2016 I joined the Miracle Team and found a family of souls and an energetic support system. I am so graced and so blessed on so many levels. The universe has provided guidance, abundance and safety and I am so grateful. In the center of the vision board I made four years ago are a series of words “Happiness is a Choice”, “Gratitude”, “ Do Not Fear” and “All Is Well” and so it is.
At Kira’s suggestion, I recently reunited with my soul family via my Shiva Eye. A female energy, she started communicating with me while still in Sue Sturdivant’s possession. Her name is Ur-Sula and although I’ve only been reunited with her for a short time, she’s shown me the energies within her, she has vibrated in my hands and gifted me with a vision of my soul birth. She showed me a golden band of love that vibrates in a blissful harmony within the universe. A golden raindrop was released from the band but attached by the finest of golden threads. The raindrop of gold was my soul and it was surrounded with what I can only call my spiritual cheerleaders. They were all clapping and laughing as I dropped to this form and they are with me now and will be clapping and laughing with I return to the golden band of love.
I am so grateful for having been led to Sri and Kira and this beautiful team of miracle souls. Being on my spiritual journey is active yet it is effortless. I feel I live inside the harmony and flow of the universe and I am happy and content. Don’t get me wrong…there are challenging days for sure and I’m still prone to a good four letter expletive when someone cuts me off on the road…. but it becomes so much easier to breathe, express gratitude to my overworked protective angels and re-center back into the bubble.
I wish my TOSA family all love, all peace, the wonder of whispered miracles, all happiness and all unity and harmony with the universal love that we all are.
Namaste my family.
With much love,
– Suzanne Startt-Wilkes
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