Namaste Beloved Beings of Crystalline Light!
My name is Eszter Julianna Varga, i was born and raised in Hungary. At the age of 19 i went to travel to the United States and lived there for 3 and a half years. That is where i met my Daughters Father Kristo, who is from Estonia. We left the USA in 2002 and i lived in Estonia with him for a while. And then we ended up moving to Ireland in 2004. Our Daughter (and saving grace!) was born in 2007. And after1 Year break in 2008 in Estonia and Hungary, i broke out of Our completely nonfuctional relationship with Kristo, and in 2009 i moved back with my baby-girl to Dublin-Ireland. And that was the summer i have read Sri and Kira’s book, and my life started changing completely for what it meant to be….,
First of all Thank You for the chance to look within and express how i feel about the past 6 Years since i have found Sri and Kira and started my conscious walk on my Self Ascension path.
And as i reflect back, i realize that it is like a second life i have been so mercifully given in one lifetime.
I know now, that i have lived an unconscious, dis- empowered life, up until 2009. That means the first 30 years of my life.. And i actually would like to share first, how that life was for me,
because I know that all of Us are born into Density -Consciousness that is where we all start our Journey, therefore all can relate, and as i look back that is how i can see the true miracle of Self Ascension, and i know You will as well.
Like so many of Us i have collected emotional wounds during childhood, i have compared myself to others and so many times i judged myself less then. As an extremely peaceful child the Ego games for control seems so unecessary to me, it confused and saddened me, i could not relate to it, yet i experienced it everywhere and so soon enough i felt incompetent for life.
From my Family and surroundings i have learned to focus on lack and developed scarcity mentality.
And so as a young adult (by the law of attraction) from my viewpoint navigating life seemed harder and harder, finding joy and a feeling of careless-freedom, less and less available.
I found myself feeling lost and having no sense of power over my own life. And yet i had no questions of why or how could it be any different, i was totally unconscious, and i believed that life just happens to me and to all of us and we can only hope for better, and that is just the way it is. And complaining became a regular habit of mine. And if someone confronted me of why don`t i do something about my complaints, I argued for my limitations. Sounds familiar? Maybe someone you know?
My “Spiritual interest” suddenly happened for me after my Daughter Arabella was born and helped me face that my 8 years old relationship with her Father was not only non-functional, but yet rather abusive on many levels.
That is why i call her my saving grace literally. She “forced” me to leave the toxicity.
After the break-up my Aunt gave me esoteric books about the existence of the Angelic realms, and the Human Chakra system, and those books prepared me to be the perfect fertile soil for the seed of my Divinity to start to sprout. And then she gave me Sri and Kira`s book: 2012 You have a choice! That was a divine appointment ( and i am forever grateful for my Aunt Iren to fulfill her role! ) .And slowly but surely I`ve started blossoming into my Divine Empowerment and Mastery.
And so for me the Miracle is Self-Ascension itself, as it gave me the ability to feel the opposite of how i felt and viewed life!!!
I have dropped judgement over myself and others and overall life. I no longer compare myself to others because i know that we are all precious individuals of One source, equally beautiful and diverse.
I know that there is more than enough for everyone of everything as we are infinitely abundant as the Universe.
I know that life is as hard as it needs to be until we say enough!
Now Joy is ever present and available within a breath for me.
I realize how free I am , knowing that i am here as a Human by my own will and choice…
I was lost and now I have a beautiful sense of direction. I felt powerless over my life and now I know that i have all the power over my own life. I know that life happens through me, and not, to me.
And if i find myself complaining or placing a limit for myself, i take a breath and my inner smile comes up naturally, and i giggle at myself mercifully.
I know that i am responsible to everything that occurs in my life as a reflection of where is my focus in life. As Archangel Zadkiel so kindly tells us “keep your eyes on the divine at all times” ,I remember reading this in 2009 and feeling like that must be very hard to do, and aiming myself for it, and now it is almost second nature,
To me to be able to say these things and know them as my truth and embody them IS a Miracle!
Especially at these times that we live in!
And that is continuing to be the Miracle every day!!!
As i see people struggling day by day as i did once, i feel humbled and i realize how far I have journeyed with Sri and Kira. Through the Private healing sessions i have realized where did i give creation to my dis-empowerment, and how to heal the childhood wounds. I dare to say that everyone needs inner child healing, yet so many do not even know, as i did not know, and that is why Self-Ascension is such a gift and Miracle! Through the Teachings and the Courses i have learned how to navigate this reality, i believe we all need to learn that to be able to live here gracefully.
As i restored myself, i felt great compassion for the people who are still stuck… I once was there and it was hard to watch, and if not to the deep multidimensional teachings and guidance through the insoulments, i might have found myself in a dead end and turn my back to spirituality, finding it unfair. I know that many lightworkers struggle with this, feeling the pressure not being able to see and help the loved Ones where they think they should be : all healed and whole and happy…,Through Sri and Kira i recognized the truth of Divine timing and Divine order. And the importance of non-interference, and recognizing that saving people just fuels victimhood for all involved.
As a Miracle member i truly feel in service, and that gives me fulfillment.
It is the “biggest thing” in my life, as i have not started my practice as a Counsellor yet.
At this point where i start to have more and more access to my own divine wisdom i feel the only desire to be One of the Many available clear vessels to bring/anchor crystalline light to this planet.
And i am very grateful for the monthly gatherings because it gives me such a beautiful opportunity to do that.
Every month during the phone call I tangibly feel You as my Spiritual Family ,my Brothers and Sisters of Essenah Brethren-hood, Blue Starborn, Beings of great Crystalline Light…Thank You for Our times together
it is truly the time i am looking forward every month to give me the fuel to carry on, Your unconditional service and commitment inspires me, i feel truly Blessed!
And to Sri and Kira i am eternally grateful! Thank You for all you do.
Together we help Humanity enter the times of Divine Empowerment, Co-operation, Divine Communities and Ceremonies, and Miracles!
And so it is.
I Love You all.