With every birth there is a death. To face our own passing is part of the existential
journey of our own birth and comes with its own timing. However, confronting the
death of a Loved One gifts us with a hurt that challenges our capacity to feel
and be fully present to Life.
This past Monday, April 18, I learned that my 27-year old son, Alden, passed away
while he was exploring Thailand. The shock I experienced brought me into an ocean
of pain that humbled me in ways I had not before experienced. Grief unwinds our
attachments… The grief process brings forward into the light of consciousness
all manner of emotions. From deep hurt to fear to anger… to a sense of exquisite
vulnerability; the experience of loss brings ‘ordinary consciousness’
to its knees at the altar of authenticity.
An aspect of my consciousness knows that physical death is indeed a liberation
and a joyful opportunity to continue one’s soul journey in expanded ways.
Another aspect is uniquely human and challenges my capacity to remain present
to my true feelings. Emotional energy is a very strong force and our human response
is often to build a strong inner wall to protect ourselves from pain and a loss
of control. An alternate decision is to relax all agendas and surrender to grief’s
transforming fire. This is a fierce choice and offers a deepening, a connection
beyond any poetic assembly of words.
What I have witnessed in myself the past few days has been my surrender into a
transformational healing that arises from my human suffering. From deep within
my own subconscious, secret dreams and desires for my son have surfaced. These
dreams, now conscious are also dying with him. I grieve for the loss of all opportunity
to share more life with the boy I raised.
There is a day ahead…I can already feel it’s expanded peace approaching…a
day where I will anchor in the celebration of Alden’s life and the new opportunities
for expansion that await him. I can be more present for the communion that comes
from other dimensions once my humanity has experienced the healing that comes
from a heart torn open.
Spiritual work is paradoxical.
The ability to straddle our etheric recognitions with our density expressions
is uniquely the challenge of consciousness awakening within a human birth. We
came here for this! To fully be human, to let the grit of separation and mortality
mingle with the joys of the body and love relationships offers the grist for the
alchemical fire of awakening.
For the past several days I have found deep solace in the arms of my Beloved Kira
Raa. She is my precious nourishment, my stability in this time. I cannot even
imagine a life without her, for we are One. Yet, my grief is my own journey –
no matter how hard she tries to comfort me, the inner recesses of my heart remain
a territory that I alone must heal through presence. I have tasted the salty tears
of my humanness as I questioned my own capacity to move forward. And throughout
this process I have found strength in the expressions of love that have come from
Kira Raa, friends and spiritual family.
Beloved Community, we invite you to please join with us in celebrating the Journey
of Alden. As you gaze at his picture, may you find a moment to offer him appreciation
for his contribution to the awakening of human consciousness. And perhaps send
him a pulse of Light and encouragement for him to continue onward and journey
through the void of his own veil as he anchors his ascended beingness.
We love you! We are grateful for you.
Sri and Kira
If you feel called, we invite your sharing of Love with Sri Ram Kaa by offering a comment below.